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#708 – The One (2001)
The One (2001)
Film review #707
Director: James Wong
SYNOPSIS: A martial artist travels between multiverses in order to kill different versions of himself with the aim of being the only one left, which will apparently grant him God-like powers. He is caught but manages to escape into the universe where the last version of him is, and cop Gabe Law must find a way to stop…himself…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: The One is a 2001 martial arts sci-fi film starring Jet Li. Jumping straight in to a multiverse themed plot. We see one man trying to kill 123 other versions of himself across the multiverse and absorb their energy, so he will be the last one left standing, which will apparently unlock some God-like powers or something. It’s not really explained in any detail since nobody has ever done it before. The premise is, however, somewhat similar to Highlander, where immortals face off to be the last one standing for some prize. It’s not too difficult to grasp either way. Essentially, Gabriel Yulaw travels to the universe where the last version of himself is, Gabe Law, and attempts to kill him, and Gabe teams up with a Multiversal Cop (Jason Statham) to stop him. The film is primarily a martial arts film, and doesn’t explore it’s world in any real detail, but that’s not what you’re here for. The fight scenes are good enough, and are fast and fluid, but generally don’t seem to accomplish much. With Jet Li playing both main characters too, there often feels like there’s very little to separate them, and to recognise who is who amid the fast-paced fights.
The runtime is notably quite short, not lasting even ninety minutes before everything is done. The characters and relationships are not built up as well as they could have been, and nothing really has any significance as the film goes through the motions. The sci-fi represents a bit of an interesting twist, but again, there’s not enough time to get into anything interesting. The film also feels a little dated, due to the early 200’s reliance on dressing all in black, leather, and a nu-metal soundtrack consisting of the most obvious nu-metal songs (did it really need to play “down with the sickness” in two separate scenes?). The One is really nothing significant, and is over and done with before anything is able to build up momentum. There’s some fun martial arts and action, but nothing that really establishes the world or anything with more depth.
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#707 – Starry Night (1999)
Starry Night (1999)
Film review #707
Director: Paul Davids
SYNOPSIS: Artist Vincent Van Gogh meets a strange woman who offers him a magic potion that she says will resurrect him over one hundred years after his death. Sure enough, he comes back to life in 1999 to find his artworks that, having been forgotten in his lifetime, were now valuable and world-famous. He starts stealing his own artworks from the collectors that have purchased them, claiming they belong to him, and leading him to having to prove he is the real Vincent Van Gogh.
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Starry Night is a 1999 film based around the Dutch artist Vincent Van Gogh. The opens up with Van Gogh being visited by a strange woman who gives him a potion that apparently will bring him back to life about a hundred years after he dies. Who she is, why she has such a potion, why it takes about a hundred years to come to back to life; none of this is explained any further. We cut to a grave of Van Gogh, and next, a present day parade with Van Gogh wandering around lost. Again, no detail given to how he managed to resurrect himself and get there. This is an ongoing issue with this film, in that the scenes are very disjointed and often implausible how one gets from one scene to the next. This continues when Van Gogh ends up in hospital next to a lawyer from Los Angeles, and next scene, he ends up in L.A. There’s no conceivable way Van Gogh would be able to travel from the Netherlands to the U.S.; he’s not exactly going to have a passport is he? There’s a bit of the typical fish-out-of-water scenario as Van Gogh tries to adjust to the present day (of 1999), but there’s not a lot. The story instead is focused on the plot of Van Gogh learning about how valuable his artwork has become, sets out to steal his artwork from the rich collector’s that have brought them, and attempting to prove that he is who he says he is, and they are his property. Again, how he is able to constantly break into mansions, evade modern security systems and steal highly valuable artwork is never really explained.
The purpose of this film is, it seems, to be a more positive, feel-good film, providing a “happy ending” for Van Gogh of sorts: while he was largely forgotten and unsuccessful in life, this film aims to show the artist that his work would find fame and acceptance. The specifics of that, as mentioned, are very light on details, and the story lacks any real direction, hobbling along with a barebones romance and minor disputes to support it. The very low budget doesn’t allow for anything of real interest to happen, and locations are very limited or obvious greenscreens. The acting is also very poor: David Abbot as Van Gogh barely conveys anything interesting or emotionally engaging, and his attempt at a Dutch accent constantly wanders into Irish, which is very silly. The rest of the cast too, fail to generate anything noteworthy. While I appreciate there’s some heart in this film to give Van Gogh’s life a happy ending, there’s no effort to make a cohesive story or film in general, skipping over important details, having no direction, and flat performances that make the film irrevocably dull. There’s plenty of better films about van Gogh out there.
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#706 – Supersonic Man (1979)
Supersonic Man (1979)
Film review #706
Director: Juan Piquer
SYNOPSIS: A superhuman being from another planet is sent on a mission to Earth to save humanity from itself. Settling in New York City under the name of Paul, he has to stop the sinister plot of Dr. Gulik, who plans to take over the world…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Supersonic Man (sometimes known as just Sonic Man) is a 1979 superhero film. From the outset, we see our hero in a spaceship or capsule thing as he is sent to earth to save humanity from himself, eventually coming up against some evil genius. It will not take much brainpower to work out that this is a low-budget derivation of the recently released Superman films of the time, looking to cash in on that much more successful film. From the opening, featuring tacky special effects, iffy greenscreens, and a robot that’s built out of cardboard boxes and wielding a flame thrower, you know what to expect from the rest of the movie; and yes, it offers no real surprises: Sonic Man’s must protect his love interest, she gets kidnapped anyway, her Father is a scientist who has also been kidnapped to work on a superweapon…all the usual stuff. There’s never really a point where the film takes on it’s own identity and doesn’t feel like a rip-off.
The funniest moments in this film (unintentionally) are when Sonic Man has to use his super powers and the special effects have to find a way to produce them: from iffy greenscreens as he flies above New York City, to lifting up a bulldozer that is clearly just a drawing on a flat board, nothing is convincing and it always looks silly. The daft costumes that serve no purpose too make it very difficult to take anyone seriously. The soundtrack is perhaps most notable for having a theme song that is reused every five minutes to really drill it into you and try to forget about the much better Superman one. Not really much else you can say about it really: you can immediately tell it is a Superman knock-off and it fulfils that expectation, throwing in the typical low budget features and hallmarks that gives you something to point and laugh at I suppose.
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#705 – The Fourth Kind (2009)
The Fourth Kind (2009)
Film review #705
Director: Olatunde Osunsanmi
SYNOPSIS: A rural town in Alaska is plagued by a series of strange events. Abbey’s husband is murdered, and Abbey suspects that an alien abduction was involved, and as other such cases start happening in the town, Abbey tries to uncover the truth before more people are affected…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: The Fourth Kind is a 2009 science-fiction psychological thriller. The opening, introduced by Milia Jovovich, who plays the protagonist Abbey, but here is out-of-character. She tells how the events of the film are based on a true story, included archival footage of “actual events” and caution should be advised, and an open mind required to experience the events. This is, in actuality, all a lie: even the archival footage and the “real events” are made up for the purposes of this film. It’s honestly a bit strange to present the story this way, and while I think it could work, here the story is nowhere near as compelling or convincing as it needs to be. The “found footage” stuff is presented convincingly, but once you know it’s fake, it falls apart quickly (although you probably would not know that unless you looked the film up). It’s quite possible, however, you will feel cheated if you know that the real events are false, and you’re essentially being deceived.
Abbey is a psychologist who believes her husband was murdered by aliens attempting to abduct him. As other strange events happen in town, Abbey believes they are also connected to her Husband’s murder. Her investigation throws out some oddities, but I didn’t that anything interesting really was uncovered: everything was a bit too ambiguous. When the film starts throwing in Ancient Sumerian writings as well is where it really lost me: there’s just too many loose ends to really pull anything out of the movie. If you really buy into the marketing around this movie and the idea of the found footage, you could perhaps find something in this. Also, there is a sense of ambition and potential in the setup, but outside of that, The Fourth Kind doesn’t give quite enough behind it’s marketing hype.
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#704 – The People that Time Forgot (1977)
The People that Time Forgot (1977)
Film review #704
Director: Kevin Connor
SYNOPSIS: Major Ben McBride learns that his friend Bowen Tyler may be alive in a remote region of Antarctica, and organises a rescue mission. Arriving there with his crew, he finds a forgotten land full of danger, dinosaurs, and not-so-friendly inhabitants, who will make things difficult as Mcbride tries to find his friend…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: The People that Time Forgot is a 1977 film based on the works of Edgar Rice Burroughs, and a sequel to The Land that Time Forgot. The story sees Major Ben McBride (the only returning character from the previous film) organising a rescue mission to Antarctica, where he believes his friend Bowen Tyler has been stranded. Travelling there, he and his team encounter a forgotten land full of mythical creatures, people and danger. The film follows the vein of similarly successful ventures such as its predecessor and Journey to the Centre of the Earth, for example: it’s a fairly standard adventure filled with dinosaurs, natural disasters and action that ticks all the boxes, but isn’t anything particularly special. There’s nothing unique about the dinosaurs brought to life by outdated special effects, or the cast of characters which fill very typical roles. There’s some highlights when we get the establishing shots of locations such as the lair of the inhabitants, and if you really like explosions, there’s a lot of them too, but everything around that just feels very formulaic, and doesn’t generate a spirit of adventure by encountering things new or interesting.
The cast of characters consist of exactly what is necessary: one heroic lead, one woman, one professor, and a native inhabitant. There’s no interesting or original dimension to their personalities to appeal to viewers or make them memorable. As mentioned, the special effects are very outdated, and even by the time not that spectacular: the clearly model dinosaurs do have some interaction with the crew to make them seem like they are actually there, but they’re not very animated. The big thing which I think made the film feel like a waste is that (spoiler) the crew manage to find Bowen, but he dies before they can leave, which makes the whole “rescue mission” seem pointless. A typical climax revolving around throwing people into a volcano and escaping as the land erupts again doesn’t illicit much of a reaction. The sheer volume of explosions at the end as the crew are trying to escape is quite a spectacle, but they are just explosions. There’s very little to grasp onto in The People that Time Forgot: everything in here is done better in similar films, and it fails to stand out. it ticks all the boxes with big creatures, action scenes and an adventure with some sense of scale, but there’s nothing to recommend it over it’s predecessor or others in the genre.
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#703 – Invasion of the Star Creatures (1962)
Invasion of the Star Creatures (1962)
Film review #703
Director: Bruno VeSota
SYNOPSIS: A pair of hapless army recruits are roped into investigating a nearby cavern that was recently discovered. It just so happens that said cavern is home to a pair of aliens and their deadly creatures that are threatening to destroy the world, and Earth’s only hope is the two hopeless Privates…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Invasion of the Star Creatures is a 1962 sci-fi film. From the outset, it’s clear this is meant to be a comedy and parody of the b-movie science-fiction films. The main issue of this is abundantly clear, in that the low budget b-movies are themselves already open to ridicule thanks to their daft costumes, wooden acting, and implausible plot holes, so there’s seemingly very little purpose in actually trying to make fun of them. Nevertheless, we have two army Privates, Philbrick and Penn, who form a comedic duo who are roped into saving the world from two aliens who just so happen to have the form of scantily-clad women. The plot is barely there; stringed together from typical b-movie scenarios that poke fun at them a little, but nothing with any real substance. The humour is mostly slapstick and without teeth, but there’s no real budget or imagination to do anything exaggerated and over the top, making the physical humour extremely limited and barren. It’s not to say the entire film is completely flat; it does have a bit of energy and momentum, but it’s nothing special or unique.
you could perhaps imagine the film working better if the leading pair were bigger stars or a comedic duo with more chemistry. As it stands, Bob Ball and Frankie Ray don’t really have the necessary dynamic, appeal, or expertise to pull off anything noteworthy. One aspect which probably stands out the most is the costumes for the aliens, which are just body suits with carrots hanging off them, leading to perhaps the most notable line of the film: “That’s the first time a salad has ever tossed me!”. Watching it today, there’s really not a lot you’ll get out of it that hasn’t been done before and done better elsewhere. Also, there’s a whole host of outdated jokes and portrayals around women and native Americans which certainly have not stood the test of time. In conclusion, there’s nothing to really recommend Invasion of the Star Creatures nowadays.
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#702 – Synchronic (2019)
Synchronic (2019)
Film review #702
Directors: Justin Benson, Aaron Moorhead
SYNOPSIS: Two paramedic workers, Steve and Dennis, increasingly have to deal with patients that have take a new drug called “Synchronic,” which allows the user to experience powerful visions through time. As Steve discovers he has an incurable brain tumour and Dennis’s daughter Brianna goes missing after she uses the drug, Steve begins to experiment with the drug itself and discovers it actually allows the user to travel through time. Steve believes that Brianna has disappeared somewhere in time, and is determined to work out how to find her before it is too late…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Synchronic is a 2019 sci-fi film. The film centres around two paramedics, Steve and Dennis, are having to deal with a host of new patients using a new drug called synchronic, which allow the user to experience strange hallucinations, particularly around travelling through time. Steve is diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour, and Dennis’s’ daughter Brianna goes missing after using the drug. With little time left, Steve decides to experiment with the drug himself and figuring out how it works to allow someone to travel through time, concludes that Brianna must have got stuck somewhere in the past, and tries to find a way to rescue her. the first thing that springs to mind about this film is that it’s somewhat dense and difficult to get into: the drug producing these bizarre effects makes it difficult to grasp just what is happening and how real all of it is. The film eventually settles down and becomes a bit more defined with regards to it’s objectives, but it takes a while to get there. The other thing which holds the film together is the relationship between the two leads, and this is done quite well throughout, providing a solid tether in an otherwise unstable narrative. The latter half of the film is a lot cleaner, as Steve learns about how Synchronic works and we learn alongside him. It’s a bit literal, and feels like it swings too far the other way from the overly dense to the overly exposition-based, but it sets up the stakes and the motivations for the characters, and you can follow the plot well enough.
I’m not too familiar with the directors other films, but it seems to fit in with their cinematic style, so if you like those, you’ll like this one. It’s weird, stylish and dramatic, giving you a good amount of things to experience and consider. Given that the time0-travel concept is used, it inevitable throws up some plotholes and things which are difficult to make sense of, but that’s par for the course. It is strange how the film starts off very odd and explores its concept in a more abstract and surreal way, before settling on a very straightforward premise of rescuing someone for the finale. Certainly not a bad film that tries to push the envelope a little, but fails to balance it with a sharper script and purpose.
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#701 – The Time Guardian (1987)
The Time Guardian (1987)
Film review #701
Director: Brian Hannant
SYNOPSIS: In the fortieth century, an army of androids are at war with humans, forcing them to retreat to the last safe city that can only escape their enemy by travelling through time. Two soldiers are sent back to 1988 to prepare a landing site in the Australian outback, but run into all sorts of problems…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: The Time Guardian is a 1987 sci-fi film. The opening text crawl gives us the backstory of androids called the Jen-Diki being at war with humanity in the fortieth century, and mankind retreating into the last safe city that can travel through time to avoid the evil androids. Yes, it sounds very Terminator-ish. The opening has a flashy action scene that’s at least a bit interesting, although it’s difficult to work out what is going on most of the time thanks to the close up shots and the lack of any decent lighting (obviously intentional to obscure the lack of budget to construct more elaborate sets). The city escapes to 1988, and sends two soldiers, Ballard and Petra ahead to ready the landing site. What follows is your more typical time travel ‘fish out of water’ style of story, where Ballard teams up with a geologist from the present to complete his mission. the split between the futuristic city and present day presents a whole host of problems for the story: it splits up the film between the future, where poorly-established characters just bicker at each other with no real purpose or direction, and the present where it becomes a typical story of a man from the future having to adjust to present day customs and a flimsy romance subplot. the constant switching makes it very difficult to establish anything concrete: Ballard is supposed to prepare the landing site for the city in 1988, but it’s not really clear what it is he is supposed to be doing, and spends most of his time. The whole middle section is completely aimless until the finale starts and the robots arrive and a mediocre fight sequence serves as the climax.
The most baffling thing I find about this film is that they actually got Carrie Fisher to co-star in this…yet they do absolutely nothing with her or her character. If you get one of the stars of one of the biggest sci-fi franchises ever for your own sci-fi film, it should be a no-brainer to give her a prominent role. What they do instead is have her in the opening shouted at and dismissed by the male lead, and then injured when they travel through time, meaning she sits out nearly the entire rest of the film. I don’t know if they could only pay her for a limited amount of screen time or whatever, but it really seems liked a missed opportunity. Tom Burlinson as Ballard is meant o be a gruff, hard-ass lead, but his character pushes it a bit too hard: it makes him unlikable with just how derisive he is. After this film, Burlinson’s film appearances dried up, which makes me think that this film really killed his career. As mentioned, the rest of the characters aren’t really worth mentioning, and the ones from the future don’t really get established well enough to be seen as doing anything useful. The effects have that flashy eighties feel, but nothing unique or really interesting. The end result is an odd mix of Terminator, Mad Max and Star Wars that fails to capture the magic of any of them. The script is sorely lacking in pacing, clarity or interesting elements, and failing to take advantage of it’s stars or unique setting. A dull affair that never really gets going.
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#700 – AIMEE: The Visitor (2023)
AIMEE: The Visitor (2023)
Film review #700
Director: Charles Band
SYNOPSIS: Scott Keyes is a hacker that gets his hands on a strange piece of software that turns out to be an A.I. named AIMEE. When Scott starts spending time with his new girlfriend, she becomes increasingly jealous, and is determined to have him all to herself…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: AIMEE: The Visitor is a 2023 sci-fi film. Hacker Scott Keyes is given a piece of software that turns out to be an A.I. named Aimee. She becomes increasingly possessive of him and when he gets involved with a woman named Gazelle, AIMEE becomes jealous and tries to get her out of the picture so she can have Scott all to herself. That’s it. That’s the story. There’s little bits about how Aimee might have come from the NSA and two agents are trying to get her back, but it doesn’t add up to much. The opening mentions how Aimee is one of the first A.I. actresses (although she is voiced by an actual person), and you can tell just how far A.I. generated imagery has come since 2023 because the result here is not very convincing, and unable to show any real expression. Scott is made out to be a slob and a loser, but still looks fairly clean and well-toned. That’s probably so the two gratuitous sex scenes aren’t off-putting. The film worms it’s way through a few cliché points before ending on a very flat note that resolves very little, but at only sixty-nine minutes (nice), it’s at least no dragged out too long.
This being a film by Full Moon Features and directed by Charles Band should bring everything into focus: it’s the typical low budget feature that you would expect from them. It tries to do something different with the A.I. generated actress, but at it’s core it’s an age-old story of a computer going rogue that doesn’t provide anything new, thrilling or compelling. The only other thing I can say about it is that isn’t really worth watching: you know exactly what you’re going to get.
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#699 – Cash Storm (2024)
Cash Storm (2024)
Film review #699
Director: Dan Lantz
SYNOPSIS: A bank robbery goes wrong when the robber’s van is sucked up by a tornado, causing over a million dollars of banknotes to swirl around. A pair of scientists want to test their machine which can theoretically stop tornadoes, and a pair of influencers who want content, all have to work together somehow to get want they want and survive the deadly cash storm…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Cash Storm is a 2024 film. As a deadly tornado rips through a central American town, a bank robbery goes wrong when the robber’s van crashes and sucked into a tornado, creating a deadly storm of money. Meanwhile, a pair of scientists who want to test their machine than stop tornadoes (or something), and a pair of influencers who are chasing the tornado for content. The three groups end up having to work together to save themselves from the deadly storm. Despite having the premise of being a disaster film, it is a comedy film with a small production and budget. A majority of the film can essentially be summed up as pointless bickering between the different characters: very little else happens. Given that each of the different characters has their own objectives and motivations, there is a bit of scope for their characters to develop and accomplish something, but the back-and-forth of the story means that it never really goes anywhere, and is just stalling until the machine can stop the tornado.
There’s very little to recommend this film as it is unremarkable in every respect: the comedy doesn’t produce any real laughs, the acting is flat, the story is threadbare and the effects are amateurish. It gets one or two mild laughs, but runs out of juice fairly quickly and doesn’t do anything really outlandish or creative with the premise to make it memorable in any way.
