-
#580 – Cloud Atlas (2012)
Cloud Atlas (2012)
Film review #580
Directors: Lana Wachowski, Tom Tykwer, Lily Wachowski
SYNOPSIS: The interconnected lives of strangers intersect across multiple lives over the course of 500 years…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Cloud Atlas is a 2012 sci-fi epic film based on the novel of the same name. It’s difficult to give a summary of the plot because the film centres on six different settings over the course of five hundred years, with different stories in each time. The characters in each era are played by the same actors throughout, which hints at the idea of reincarnation, perhaps symbolised by a birthmark that many of the characters have, but this is left up to interpretation: in fact, a lot of this film is left up to interpretation. I imagine multiple viewings will reveal new things and connections which are easily missed the first time. While this can be a positive, I think the film thematically needed something more to bring things together. The film ends with a somewhat weak message that doesn’t feel like much of a payoff after sitting through nearly three hours. While it is a long runtime, I don’t think there’s any lulls in the film thanks to the constant switching between the different characters and stories, but it’s difficult to say what you’re supposed to take away from it all.
The host of different characters and time spans obviously provides plenty of variety in the film: some have stronger stories than others, and some are very predictable. The film is definitely helped by having some top acting talent, such as Tom Hanks and Halle Berry, and the massive budget this film had (one of the most expensive independent films of all time) allows for lots of different on-location shots, so at least in that respect you can get the “epic” sense of the film. This film seems to have a polarising response from people, ranging from it being a really good film, to it being one of the worst, and it is easy to see the reasons for both perspectives. The film has plenty of ambition and variety, and meanders through its different stories in such a way that they are all balanced well throughout the long runtime. However, the editing may also leave viewers feeling like they are wandering aimlessly around with no real purpose. The things which are supposed to tie the film together: the strange birthmark across generations that suggest some form of reincarnation, the writings of a philosopher oft-quoted, and such, don’t really provide any overarching themes to bring things together. If this is a film that is meant to be viewed multiple times, then that is a problem, as I do not feel like this would be worth a re-watch for me. There’s plenty of ambition and a lot of skill in editing this all together, but the things which are supposed to tie it all together just don’t have the required impact.
-
#579 – Miami Connection (1987)
Miami Connection (1987)
Film review #579
Director: Richard Park, Y.K. Kim
SYNOPSIS: A drug deal in Miami is intercepted by a gang of motorcycle riding ninjas. Meanwhile, the Sister of one of the ninjas has joined the band “Dragon Soul,” and her brother disapproves, leading to a lot of martial arts fighting between just about everyone on the streets of Miami.
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Miami Connection is a 1987 martial arts film. The film opens up with a drug deal being intercepted by a gang of motorcycle riding ninjas: just in case you’re wondering what kind of film you’re about to experience. The plot of the film is no less bizarre, as it revolves around a band named Dragon Soul, whose members are orphans and best friends, and learn taekwondo with their mentor and fellow bandmember Mark, played by Y.K. Kim, who co-directed, produced, wrote, and nearly bankrupted himself to get this film made. There isn’t really much of an overarching story here, other than everyone in Miami just wants to pick a fight with the band for one reason or another, so they usually have to fight their way out. There’s a plot concerning one of the bandmembers finding his biological Father as well, but nothing really leads to anything or goes anywhere. There’s a message about the band wanting to travel over the world spreading peace and love or something, but that seems rather drowned out by the mass fighting on the streets they get involved in every ten minutes or so.
Despite all the woeful dialogue, bad acting, and lack of any real story, there is something very charming and enjoyable about this film: its cheesy and nonsensical, but it’s always entertaining as you never quite know what it is going to attempt next. It is a “so bad it’s good” film, and earnestly one of the best. You can tell Kim was deeply passionate about making this film and spreading a message about Taekwondo and brotherhood, but he had absolutely no experience making films in any capacity, and the fact that he had complete control over this film shows. There’s nothing mean-spirited or any sense of a cash-grab, and the good intentions of the filmmaker shine through.
I think it’s safe to say you won’t see anything else like Miami Connection: it exists in its own universe of 80’s martial arts action and music that, while makes no sense and lacks any kind of filmmaking knowledge, still manages to make a cinematic event that’s still authentic and chaotic enough to make it entertaining, and worthwhile to watch. It’s really not the kind of film you can sum up and review, and perhaps that makes it a bit of essential cinema.
-
#578 – New York Ninja (2021)
New York Ninja (2021)
Film review #578
Director: John Liu, Kurtis M. Spieler
SYNOPSIS: John, a sound technician at a TV station learns that his wife is pregnant. Shortly after, she is killed after witnessing a kidnapping. Determined to take revenge, and with the police investigation going nowhere, John becomes the “N.Y. Ninja,” and take down the bad guys on the streets of New York while searching for his wife’s killers…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: New York Ninja is a 2021 martial arts film. The story behind this film is very fascinating, and should serve as a backdrop to any analysis of the film: all of the footage was shot in the 80’s under the direction of John Liu, who also starred in the main role (also named John Liu). The film was never released, and the footage went unused until it was acquired by the film preservation company Vinegar Syndrome. The footage had no credits, audio, storyboards or script, so the six to eight hours of footage had to be cut down into a coherent film, dialogue written and recorded, and a soundtrack written. Thus, we get New York Ninja: a “new” 80’s movie in 2021. The plot itself concerns a sound technician whose pregnant wife is murdered because she witnesses some sort of kidnapping. From here the story gets completely wild: John becomes a vigilante ninja to bring criminals to justice, and hunting down the men who killed his wife, who apparently work for a serial killer called “The Plutonium Killer” who is somewhat mutated from radiation exposure or something.
As mentioned, the film’s footage was discovered with no script or audio, so the editors had to somehow make a coherent story out of the hours of footage they had. To the editors credit, they do manage to make something coherent. However, just because it is coherent doesn’t mean it makes any kind of rational sense: the film is absolutely all over the place even with the editing, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing; in fact, that’s what makes the film so fun. This film is genuinely a case of not knowing what happens next, because nothing you see is a logical precursor to what will happen. you can have a ninja on roller skates fighting crime, then there’s “The Plutonium Killer,” whose origins are never explained. At one point, The Plutonium Killer manages to take someone else’s appearance by burning an photo of them: the whole thing has no rhyme or reason, and it’s glorious.
You can tell that a lot of heart and good will was put into this movie, even if nobody had any idea how to make a film, and that’s part of its appeal. There’s some attempt at choreography in the fight scenes, but nothing overly spectacular, and there’s some effort put into the make up on The Plutonium Killer as his face melts off, but there’s nothing else really noteworthy about the effects or the production. This film shines through at being a fun “so bad it’s good” film, with over-the-top performances, quotable dialogue, fun fights and just being so damn unpredictable that it’s a riot to watch alone or with friends: probably both, because it’s perfectly rewatchable too.
-
#577 – Diamond Ninja Force (1988)
Diamond Ninja Force (1988)
Film review #577
Director: Godfrey Ho
SYNOPSIS: Construction work unearths human remains that turn out to be the burial site of the magical Black Ninja Clan. Their descendants try to blackmail the land owners to sell the land of them but they refuse, forcing the Black Ninja Clan to hire a witch to mess with them. the owners hire Gordon, a magical ninja from another clan, to defeat the Black Ninja Clan.
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Diamond Ninja Force is a 1988 martial arts film. The plot revolves around Gordon, a ninja who is hired to stop the evil Black Ninja Clan from blackmailing and threatening a landowner and his family who have unearthed the burial grounds of the Black Ninja Clan following some construction work there. The clan also hire a witch to use her magic on the landowner’s family, so they call in Gordon, another ninja to stop the Black Ninja Clan. If the plot sounds all over the place, then there is good reason for that: that’s exactly what it is. The film opens up with an introduction by martial artist Shô Kosuge, who introduces the katana to viewers; he does not, however, mention the film you are about to watch in any capacity. The film itself doesn’t make much sense, in part because it is composed of bits of different films stitched together that barely relate to one another. There’s a horror film about a family being haunted by an evil spirit that forms part of the plot, and the scenes with Gordon in are clearly made after to fit around them. As a result of this mish-mash of footage, the film has no sense of pacing or structure. Some scenes last far too long, such as the awkward sex scene, and the whole sub-plot concerning a horny witch relates to nothing. In fact, the whole element of magic just makes little sense.
Gordon seems to be the least likely candidate for a ninja that you could possibly imagine: he is a middle-aged, moustached white man. What sort of Ninja clan he is supposed to be descended from I have no idea. Richard Harrison, who plays Gordon, also played a ninja in a previous Godfrey Ho film: Ninja Terminator, but this is not a sequel to that film, as the character he played in that film was named Harry. however, he had the same wife, ninja powers, and even the same Garfield-shaped phone he would use, which just makes things even more confusing. The rest of the characters don’t really make much of an impact: their voices are dubbed over the footage from other films so there’s very little holding everything together. While there is clearly a bit of choreography done in the fight scenes, it offers nothing exciting or special; just some backflipping to dodge some bullets which seems wholly inefficient. Overall, Diamond Ninja Force is a mess, but an expected mess typical of Ho’s work. The lack of any kind of pacing, reason or coherence in this film makes it tough to get through, and while there’s a few points that are pretty funny because of how bad or out of place they are (such as the Garfield phone), on the whole it just fails to be entertaining. Maybe worth a watch just to see how absurd it is.
-
#576 – Eagle Island (1986)
Eagle Island (1986)
Film review #576
Director: Mats Helge
SYNOPSIS: A military installation in Sweden comes under attack by Russian special forces ninjas. The soldiers on the island attempt to fend them off from obtaining a secret code.
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Eagle Island is a 1986 action film. Set on Eagle Island (unsurprisingly) somewhere near Sweden, a military installation comes under attack from a group of Russian special forces who might also be ninjas, looking for a secret code, and the inhabitants must fend off the attackers. There’s not much else to say about the story: it is both completely devoid of any substance, and overly convoluted with additional characters that serve no purpose. The main thread of the story (apart from the Russian ninjas) is a guard on the island who has to escort a woman trespassing on the island to take photos of the eagles that give the island its name back to the mainland. The two inexplicably fall in love and get together, and when they learn about the Russian ninjas, they decide to go back to the island to stop them or something. It sounds like a premise which might be interesting, but there is so little that actually happens in the film you’ll be horrendously bored and disappointed that the film doesn’t match the premise.
Probably the most disappointing aspect is that the “ninjas” aren’t really ninjas at all, and just use weapons. Obviously the film wanted to capitalise on the ninja trend, but without wanting to do the choreography and stunts for it. The action is just the occasional gunfight, and as mentioned the story is all over the place and fails to establish any of the characters in any real depth. The most notable aspect of the film and it’s only real saving point is the soundtrack: it is the most eighties soundtrack you can ever imagine, and the synths and beat goes hard. It’s actually not a bad soundtrack either, but it is wholly misplaced in this film, and just adds to the sense of confusion experienced while watching. Overall, Eagle Island is a mess that is devoid of any real story, its characters have no personality or development, and the soundtrack is just so out of place it’s difficult to comprehend it. You don’t need to let you curiosity get the better of you with this one: there’s really nothing of value here.
-
#575 – R.I.P.D. 2: Rise of the Damned (2022)
R.I.P.D. 2: Rise of the Damned (2022)
Film review #575
Director: Paul Leyden
SYNOPSIS: Sherriff in the Old West Roeciphus Pulsipher is gunned down and killed in a shootout with some outlaws. Before he can proceed to the after life, he is recruited by the Rest in Peace Department (R.I.P.D.) to hunt down souls that have not departed from the Earth. “Roy” is partnered with veteran officer Jeanne to investigate a disturbance that could put the whole of humanity at risk…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: R.I.P.D. 2: Rise of the Damned is a 2022 film. Despite what the name implies, the film is not a sequel, but a prequel to the 2013 film R.I.P.D., in which we see the story of how veteran officer Roeciphus “Roy” Pulsipher joined the department. The film is set in the Old West, where Roy is killed in a shootout with a local outlaw gang. He is recruited by the Rest in Police Department (R.I.P.D.) to deal with souls called “Deados” who have remained on Earth after death and must be sent to the afterlife. Roy is teamed up with another officer, Jeanne, to investigate an increase in strange activity. If you watched the first film, you’ll know exactly what to expect from this film, because it is basically the same plot: rookie and veteran partner up to stop the souls of the dead from returning to Earth. However, unlike the first film, which was still entertaining by just rushing through the film and relying on constant action and strong character performances, R.I.P.D. 2 doesn’t even have that, and the film stumbles along without any real energy or appeal. It doesn’t expand on the world or the lore in any way, it doesn’t reveal anything new about the characters, it’s just a completely recycled product with all the good stuff thrown out.
The only returning character from the first film is Roy, who was played by Jeff Bridges in the original, is played here by Jeffrey Donovan (obviously Bridges would have been a bit too pricey for this low-budget prequel). While I see a lot of praise for Donovan’s performance, I just didn’t see it. In his defence, it might just be the awful script and writing that is giving him stunted dialogue and interactions, which is certainly feasible, as the characters interact rather clumsily. Jeanne ‘s characters is very much a typical “veteran cop,” and the French accent gives it away that she is meant to be Joan of Arc fairly early, although the film “reveals” it a lot later (although I’m not sure if it is meant to be obvious, because the writing doesn’t indicate it). Despite her being a famous historical figure, it doesn’t fails to add anything to the film or her character. Following the lore of the film, Roy and Joan look completely different to living people so they can’t be recognised, and are given the appearance of two black women. This does present an opportunity for the film to address the racism and status of black people in the Old West, but the film chooses to play it safe and does the bare minimum with it. If they’re not going to address the topic, they might as well just not bothered having it as a plot point at all.
Every establishing shot in the film gives away that everything is a set devoid of substance beyond the camera. The effects are plain, and nothing stands out to make things interesting. The ending wraps things up in a roundabout way and addresses issues that I didn’t realise were an issue (who actually shot Roy or something). Overall, you’re not going to get anything out of this film that the original, and is far inferior in every way. Everything about the film feels cheap and uninspired, and the things that made the original entertaining are absent. Releasing ten years after the original as well means that the opportunity to ride the hype of its predecessor is long gone, leaving it alone and essentially dead on arrival.
-
#574 – R.I.P.D. (2013)
R.I.P.D. (2013)
Film review #574
Director: Robert Schwentke
SYNOPSIS: Police officer Nick Walker is killed by his partner Bobby Hayes as he wants to get rid of some gold that the two found on a random drug bust. He finds himself recruited into the R.I.P.D.: The “Rest in Peace Department,” which is a supernatural force whose purpose is to hunt down people that have died and still roaming the Earth. Partnered with a veteran officer, the two discover the circumstances behind Nick’s death are tied to a much bigger plot…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: R.I.P.D. is a sci-fi action film based on the comic book of the same name. The film opens up with police officers Nick Walker (Reynolds) and Bobby Hayes (Bacon) are discussing some gold they took on a random drug bust, but kept it for themselves. Nick decides he is going to turn the gold into evidence, and Bobby decides to kill Nick at their next drug bust when no one else is around. Nick finds himself dead, but before he is whisked away to the afterlife, he is brought to the R.I.P.D. to be recruited as an officer who specialises in thwarting people who have died and are still hanging around Earth, causing them to transform into hideous creatures called “Deados.” Nick is partnered with veteran officer Roicephus “Roy” Pulsipher, who was a sheriff in the Old West before he died, and the two manage to stumble upon a plot that threatens the whole world, which they naturally have to put a stop to. The story can very easily be summed up as a combination of the films Men in Black and Ghost: you can see certain scenes are almost complete cut-and-paste jobs from these two. Alongside this, it doesn’t have either the worldbuilding or quickfire comedy of Men in Black, nor the emotional depth of Ghost, leaving a film that just completely fails to build its own identity. The plot of an ancient artifact being built that will wipe out the Earth is basically the plot to every Men in Black film. It feels like the script was just finished at it’s first draft, and no one bothered to add in any specific details or worldbuilding to give it some depth. Despite the criticisms, the film actually does a good job of avoiding any boring exposition, and just jumps right into everything and explaining things as it goes. Part of this might be because there’s not much to actually explain, but at least the film manages to keep momentum going over the rather short runtime of just over ninety minutes.
The characters are very much what you would expect: Ryan Reynolds is Ryan Reynolds: it doesn’t matter what the name of the actual character, because he’s just playing the same character he always does. Jeff Bridges playing Old West lawman Roeciphus “Roy” Pulsipher is certainly the stand out performance. Again, he’s not got much depth beyond being the “grizzled veteran” type, but it’s guaranteed fun every time he is on screen. Kevin Bacon as the villain is unremarkable, and Nick’s wife Julia barely leaves a mark. As mentioned, the film lacks and seems to avoid the emotional depth that would have made their relationship and the significance of Nick’s death a solid plot point. Even if it was, it wouldn’t have been any different from the plot of Ghost (again, as mentioned). The film doesn’t seem to know what it wants its audience to be: it doesn’t have the established jokes and wit to be a comedy movie for young adults, the lack of emotional drama for older adults, and is a bit too adult for younger viewers, so the film just rushes straight through the middle with nothing sticking to it.
It’s difficult to find something else to say about the film, because there’s not much content to comment on. The film was blasted for being derivative of other films and a box office bomb, making nowhere near its budget upon release. However, I don’t think it’s all bad: sure, it has no substance, but it’s paced well, and maintains its momentum and energy through to make it a pretty entertaining film with no lulls. R.I.P.D. is the epitome of mindless cinematic entertainment that brings nothing new or significant to the table, but a short bit of fun if you’re in the mood.
-
#573 – Moonfall (2022)
Moonfall (2022)
Film review #573
Director: Roland Emmerich
SYNOPSIS: K.C. Houseman, a conspiracy theorist, uses a research telescope to confirm his suspicions that the moon’s orbit is changing and moving closer to Earth, and will eventually collide with it. NASA eventually confirm the findings and mass panic ensues. They send a rocket up to the moon to investigate, but the shuttle is attacked by a mysterious entity. Brian, an astronaut who was fired in disgrace after a space mission he was on was similarly attacked and no one believed him, leaving his reputation destroyed, is now tasked with one more mission to try and stop the moon from destroying the Earth…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Moonfall is a 2022 sci-fi disaster film. The plot, unsurprisingly, revolves around the moon falling to Earth. Conspiracy theorist K.C. Houseman, who believes that the moon is a artificial superstructure, and its orbit is decaying. It turns out he is right, and when NASA confirms it, mass panic sets in across the world. A shuttle mission to investigate the moon is attacked by a strange entity, and destroyed. It turns out to be the same entity former astronaut Brian Harper claimed attacked his mission ten years before, but as no one believed him, and was sacked and his reputation tarnished. His former crewmate Jocinda Fowler, who is now deputy director of NASA, recruits him to lead one more mission to the moon to try and correct the moon’s orbit before it collides with the Earth. The film is quite simply a combination of the films Armageddon and Independence Day. In fact, the director Roland Emmerich also directed the latter, so I’m pretty sure it was deliberate. The realism of a disaster film just doesn’t work well with the plot about aliens and rogue AI and whatnot, and a lot of stuff is just skimmed over. A lot of the plot points make very little sense, such as why the A.I….thing would just hide in the moon and try to bring it down, rather than attack the planet directly if that it was aiming to do. There doesn’t feel like there’s much of an attempt for the film to carve out its own identity, rather just picking bits from what previous films have done successfully. Then again, the sheer cheesiness of the plot and setups might make for mindless, entertaining viewing, but it’s definitely hard to take it seriously.
The characters are all fairly cookie-cutter with nothing really distinguishable. Brian and Jocinda are just very standard lead roles, and K.C. Houseman provides the comic relief with one-liners that aren’t memorable or really funny. The trailer for the film has him respond with a quip after every scene or serious moment without rest, and while it’s okay to lighten the mood once in a while, doing this constantly really stops the suspense and story dead in its tracks. The characters also have their own families who are trying to get to safety, providing a perspective from “ordinary” people on the disaster that is unfolding: again, just like Independence Day. None of these characters stand out in particular, and their scenes feel like they’re there to pad out the runtime. With the film coming in over two hours and ten minutes, the film definitely feels padded.
When the mission makes it to the inside of the Moon, they discover the inside is a Dyson Sphere: a man made structure with a white dwarf star housed inside to power it. We are also treated to a lengthy exposition about how humans once existed on another planet but were destroyed by a rogue A.I., so these superstructures were sent to potential habitable planets to populate them with the DNA of human life, but the A.I. thing (I don’t really know what it is) has now found Earth and is causing the moon to fall to destroy the humans. It’s nothing you haven’t heard or seen before, and lumping in all this stuff near the end does detract from the disaster theme a little. The ending feels like it’s very much on auto-pilot, as Brian encounters a “good A.I.” or something, and somehow now knows how to pilot around the superstructure to destroy the bad A.I., which ruins any kind of tension in the climax. In terms of effects and CG, it’s actually not too bad: you get a good sense of the scale of destruction in the landscape shots, but the effects of the Moon’s effect on gravity is entirely inconsistent throughout, and it can mostly be explained away as it’s for the purpose of the plot. Anyway, Moonfall is a mash-up of what you’ve seen before, with Roland Emmerich doing exactly what you expect in producing an over-the-top disaster film with a very typical cast of characters. It’s plot is all over the place, and is completely implausible most of the time. It is a brainless, cheesy sci-fi film that may serve as a silly ride that might entertain, but you’re going to struggle to believe anything in the movie is plausible.
-
#572 – Crater (2023)
Crater (2023)
Film review #572
Director: Kyle Patrick Alvarez
SYNOPSIS: In a mining colony on the moon, Caleb Channing is about to be shipped to the new colony of Omega, after his Father dies in a mining accident, and he is allowed to go. However, this means leaving his friends behind, which he does not want to do. Caleb also wants to fulfil his Dad’s last wish and go to a crater outside of the colony, so they decide to steal a lunar rover and head out on a road trip across the moon…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Crater is a 2023 sci-film. The film takes place in 2257 on a mining colony on the Moon, where teenager Caleb Channing is about to be transported to the colony planet Omega, after his Father died in an accident and as a result his family is allowed to take the seventy five year trip in cryostasis to reach the new planet. However, Caleb doesn’t want to go and leave his friends behind. Alongside this, his father told him his dying wish was for him to visit a crater outside of the colony on the lunar surface to see something. To this end, Caleb and his friends plan to steal a lunar rover and travel outside the colony to see the crater before he has to go away forever. The film is a sci-fi twist on the classic teen coming of age adventure, such as The Goonies and Stand by Me. It follows the formula well, and has all the necessary beats to fulfil it’s objective. The sci-fi setting gives it an interesting twist, although at it’s core it focuses on the characters and their adventure: the setting is simple enough to understand and follow, and doesn’t interfere with that. There’s a lot of convenient coincidences that make everything possible, such as a meteor shower happening when they are planning to escape so that means no one can go after them, but you can overlook that for the most part. There’s times where the film feels a bit too on-the-rails for an adventure, as it doesn’t have the capacity to deviate too much from it’s destination (being in a lunar rover, they can’t really just wander off and find anything new on the Moon), and the flashback narration from Caleb’s dad sometimes is a bit overbearing in hammering home what this trip is supposed to be does seem to be a bit counterproductive in celebrating these kid’s freedom, but is not a huge problem, and the film stands on it’s own for the most part.
The cast of Caleb and his friends are diverse and interesting enough, and give strong performances throughout, which creates a good connection between the characters. Each of them has their own issues and outlooks that bring something to the trip, and there’s some conflict between the characters, but it’s very minimal. We don’t learn everything about the characters, and that’s fine, because we’re just enjoying this journey with them. There’s a message about environmentalism and worker’s rights that runs throughout the film, but it keeps it subtle, letting it play off a little more in the finale when the journey is over. The ending is a jump, but one that doesn’t diminish or write off the impact of what it does, and gives just enough to keep things hopeful.
The film looks pretty good, with a consistent sci-fi aesthetic that feels used and worn, without it looking too cheap or hokey. The CG isn’t top notch, but again, that’s just a small thing you can overlook. All in all, Crater is a decent adventure that takes it’s subject matter seriously, although this might be a bit too serious for it’s target audience. The adventure is fun and easy to follow, the performances are pretty good, and while there are some issues with the film, they are mostly easily overlooked, and don’t detract from the experience.
-
#571 – Jason X (2001)
Jason X (2001)
Film review #571
Director: Jim Isaac
SYNOPSIS: Serial killer Jason Voorhees is being held in a top secret underground facility. Orders are given to move him out for study, but the facility’s director, Rowan, believes he is too dangerous to move. Jason manages to break out anyway, and is only stopped when Rowan traps him in cryogenic storage, and unwittingly, herself too. Rowan awakes in the year 2455 on board a spaceship orbiting the Earth, but the people who brought her to the ship also brought Jason too, and he has thawed and ready to kill…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Jason X is a 2001 film and the tenth film in the Friday the 13th film franchise. The film opens up showing Jason Voorhees being contained in a secret research facility, as previous attempts to kill him have failed thanks to his ability to regenerate. The director of the facility, Rowan, is given orders to transfer Jason out of the facility for study, but she believes Jason is too dangerous to transfer, and wants to cryogenically freeze him. It doesn’t matter anyway, as Jason breaks free of his confines and gets busy cutting through everyone he sees. Rowan manages to lure him into the cryogenic chamber and freeze him, but an accident means she is sealed in and frozen too. Over four hundred years later, Rowan (and Jason) is discovered and brought aboard a spaceship to be revived. Not realising that they have brought aboard a relentless killing machine, Jason picks up where he left off and goes about slaughtering the crew, while the survivors try and work out a way to stop him. The film is about what you’d expect from a slasher film, as Jason mows down people constantly without any rhyme or reason. The sci-fi twist to the typical Friday the 13th film could have two outcomes: it offers a fresh take on the formula, or it can be a travesty of messing with a tried and tested formula that shows a series has run out of ideas. In this case, it is certainly the latter. The sci-fi setting is barely explained: humans have moved to a new planet called Earth II because Earth has become too polluted, but this is mentioned about once. We don’t know anything about this future, and what technologies exist, and not knowing what is possible just leaves things very confusing as if the film makes it up as it goes along. It feels like the film just doesn’t try to take advantage of it’s new setting, and just sticks to filling the film with sex scenes, partial nudity, and slashing without really giving anything new to offer.
I’m not really sure what the film wants to do: it’s obviously not meant to be a really gritty horror film, as there’s no real suspense, overly visceral gore, or jump scares, and as mentioned, just falls back on randy young people having sex to appeal to it’s young adult audience. There’s no creativity with the kills (maybe one or two) or anything unique about them that the setting gives them. I feel like it would probably be easier to stop Jason on a spaceship, as there’s nowhere to really hide, doors can be secured pretty easily, you could lure him out an airlock and wouldn’t have to confront him at all. But I suppose that wouldn’t make an interesting film. I’m not even sure the film wants to be taken seriously. It does try to inject some comedy by having the characters say really awkward puns and quips, but they are all just so oddly timed and out of place that it’s baffling what you’re supposed to take away from the film.
There’s quite a large cast of characters, most of whom you’ll never get to know because Jason kills them off fairly quickly. You can tell right from the off what cliché character they are meant to be. There’s no real development in any of the characters, even the lead, Rowan, just doesn’t have any personality, and we have absolutely no idea about who she is and any details about her life. Jason is more or less the same as he has always been, which is good, but the “Cyber Jason” that emerges when Jason’s body is repaired by the cyber nanobot…things isn’t going to become the new Jason: he just becomes a cyborg which is pretty silly and over-the-top, but again, that might be what the film is going for?
The setting of the spaceship has a fair amount of detail, but the CGI is fairly dire. I don’t think it would have been good even in 2001. The whole film just feels like an episode of a TV series, from the sci-fi corridors which could have easily come from an episode of Star Trek, to the threadbare plot that would have fit neatly into a forty minute episode: the film itself barely stretches over the ninety minute mark. Overall, Jason X just seems like a bit of a mess: it doesn’t have the suspense, jump scares, or gore to make it a decent horror movie, but it’s attempts to be funny and poke fun at the franchise, whether deliberate or not, are never delivered at the right time, and your often left wondering just what the aim and tone of this film is meant to be.
