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#649 – Cyborg 3: The Recycler (1994)
Cyborg 3: The Recycler (1994)
Film review #649
Director: Michael Schroeder
SYNOPSIS: In the future, cyborgs are hunted by “Recyclers” who dismantle and sell them for parts. Cash, one such android, visits a doctor to find that, for some reason, she is pregnant. This draws the attention of a Recycler who chases her down, leading her to the hidden Cytown where cyborgs take refuge from the hunters. But with them fast approaching, they must prepare to fight and defend themselves…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Cyborg 3: The Recycler is a 1994 sci-fi film, and the third in the (loosely affiliated) Cyborg series. Set sometime after the events of Cyborg 2, we see the return of the cyborg Cash, who is played by Khrystyne Haje rather than Angelina Jolie this time, as she visits a cyborg doctor after experiencing her energy being drained to discover that somehow she is pregnant, and a new cyborg is growing inside of her. This whole plot element is really tenuous, and explanations about how it has actually happened barely cover the logic of it all. Nevertheless, she is the first cyborg to become ‘pregnant’ and when Recycler Anton Llewellyn learns about her, he begins to hunt her down for her parts. Cash flees, with the help of one of the Cyborg’s creators, to Cytown, where Cyborgs live secretly and free from being hunted. This leads to a recycled story of the town’s inhabitants having to defend themselves from the marauders in the form of the other Recyclers that Llewellyn has banded together. Yes: it’s essentially the plot of Mad Max 2, recycled for your viewing pleasure, nearly fifteen years after the fact, and with none of the characters, action or the effects that make it work. The film focuses on the villain Llewellyn almost as much as Cash, giving about equal screentime to each. The trouble is there’s not really much to Llewellyn’s character, and nothing to develop, or a backstory to explore. The implication of Cyborg’s being able to give birth is said to “change everything,” but they never really explore this in any detail. The film also ends without the baby even being born, which feels like the film had no real idea how to resolve it.
Aside from all the issues with the plot, you get your typical post-apocalyptic schlock, with goofy looking vehicles and gangs of motorbikes, which always manage to survive nuclear war it seems. There’s some okay practical effects scattered about, but nothing too memorable. Overall, Cyborg 3 is slow paced, lacking in substance, and fails to distinguish itself amidst the plethora of similar films in the genre. The fact that this series of films has made it to the third one is baffling.
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#648 – Cyborg 2 (1993)
Cyborg 2: Glass Shadow (1993)
Film review #648
Director: Michael Schroeder
SYNOPSIS: In the future, cyborgs are a part of everyday life. One cyborg production company takes to take out its competitor by sending a cyborg packed with an experimental explosive to their headquarters. When the cyborg’s instructor falls in love with her, the two escape, aided by a mysterious helper who shows up on screens to guide them to safety…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Cyborg 2 (Sometimes called Glass Shadow) is a 1993 sci-fi film and a sequel to the 1989 film Cyborg. Even though it is part of the Cyborg series, it has no relation to the original in terms of story or characters, apart from a brief flashback. Set in the year 2074, cyborgs (or androids, technically) are commonplace in all aspects of life, with cyborg production being dominated by two companies: Pinwheel Robotics in the USA, and Kobayashi Electronics in japan. Pinwheel have come up with a plan of corporate sabotage to put Kobayashi out of business by sending one of there cyborgs there as a spy and packed full of an experimental explosive that will be detonated and level the entire company. The chosen cyborg, Casella Reese, is trained by cyborg instructor Colton “Colt” Ricks, who has fallen for her, and when he learns the plot to send her to her death, escapes with her, leaving to them being hunted down as they flee. The setup of the film is fairly simple stuff, as the two end up on the run and pursued through the futuristic world. There’s nothing that stands out in this respect, as the film moves from setup to setup without much development between. There’s some okay visuals and effects with the cyborgs that just scream 1990’s sci-fi aesthetic, and clearly some thought and expertise has gone into making this work, but yes, it definitely looks of its time. The film is shovelled full of pointless action and nudity like you’d expect too, but maybe that’s what you’d expect from this sort as film as well.
Probably the most notable thing about the film is it being the film debut of Angelina Jolie as the female lead. Being only eighteen years old as well, she seems a bit out of place. It’s not a great film to debut in, but I suppose everyone has to start somewhere. The whole cast is a bit flat with no stand-out performances or characters. You’re not given much of an insight into Colt’s motivations (besides having the hots for the android), and the villains are a bit cartoonish. Everything is shot in very low lighting that probably obscures some of the cheapness, as well as most of what is going on. With all that said, the film is probably still better than Cyborg, because something actually happens, but Cyborg 2 does little to distinguish itself or make itself remotely interesting.
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#647 – Cyborg (1989)
Cyborg (1989)
Film review #647
Director: Albert Pyun
SYNOPSIS: In the near future, the world has become a post-apocalypse wasteland, and a ruthless gang is terrorising what is left of the United States. A female cyborg is sent to retrieve data from New York City and return it to Detroit in order to finish the development of a cure for a plague that is killing the survivors. She runs into a man who is fighting the leader of the gang, and asks him to escort her to Detroit…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Cyborg is a 1989 sci-film. Set in the typical post-apocalyptic wasteland of Mad Max ripoffs (and post-nuclear America too, I suppose), a plague is ravaging the survivors, and scientists in Detroit send a cyborg to New York City to get data that can help them complete a cure. While there, a gang tries to capture her so they can control the cure, and she seeks the help of Gibson Rickenbacker to escort her back to Detroit. The whole setup is very typical of this type of film, with the lone lead character who has abandoned his humanity rediscovering it as he is forced to accompany other people on a dangerous quest across the wasteland. There’s nothing that really sets the film apart from the oh so many similar films of the time. There’s some decent action that mostly revolves around Van Damme’s kickboxing expertise, but it’s all fairly par for the course.
In a film where one of the main characters is a cyborg, Van Damme still manages to come off as the last human character: his line delivery is barely audible, and clearly struggling with speaking English at some points. The villain is just your typical unhinged psychopath that doesn’t offer anything interesting, and everyone else is equally as dull. There’s some decent practical effects with the whole cyborg, but nothing too remarkable. The film really fails to embrace its best aspects: the fight scenes, and too much stunted dialogue upsets any sense of pacing. Probably not the worst of these types of movies, but Cyborg fails to really offer anything interesting, and doesn’t capitalise on the few things it does competently.
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#591 – Covid-21: Lethal Virus (2021)
Covid-21: Lethal Virus (2021)
Film review #591
Director: Daniel Hernández Torrado
SYNOPSIS: After a new strain of Covid turns most people into zombies, a biochemist is travelling to a laboratory to work on a cure when her convoy is attacked by zombies. She runs into a lone survivor, who begrudgingly accompanies her, and the two have to survive the harsh countryside overrun with zombies…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Covid-21: Lethal Virus is a 2021 zombie film. It is also (perhaps unsurprisingly) part of a host of covid-zombie movies that appeared around this time. The film revolves around a typical zombie plot (with a covid twist): the melting of polar ice has released an ancient super strain of covid that turns people into zombies. Following on from that statement which should never be uttered, we have the typical post-apocalypse world where the survivors have to avoid becoming undead themselves. Into this unoriginal setup we have a biochemist named Allyson, who is being escorted to a secret lab where she will be able to develop a cure. Unfortunately, her convoy is attacked by zombies, and because no one in this film has ever seen a zombie film before, the convoy is overrun and Allyson has to make it to the lab on her own. Well, until she runs into Scott, an angry loner who sort of accompanies her to argue all the way. The story consists mostly of this bickering and occasionally hacking away at some zombies, without any real direction or development. There’s nothing original or interesting about this post-apocalyptic world, and it’s all been done before in better films. The use of “covid” as part of the premise is irrelevant, as this “super strain” is only mentioned off-hand in dialogue once, and was probably only put in to promote the film.
The characters are all dull and unlikable: apart from Allyson and Scott and their distinct lack of any chemistry, there’s also two random soldier guys who are walking through the woods too, whose little side-story has no real purpose other than to shove some more action scenes in, I suppose. But again, the lack of any originality makes it uninteresting. All of this is supplemented by some poor acting and flat deliveries, and there are points where the actors clearly mess up their lines. The little twist at the end doesn’t really add much when the characters always feel disposable and without purpose anyway.
The production as a whole feels very unprofessional, with horrid, shaky, close-up shots that make it difficult to follow what is going on (and to avoid paying for backgrounds and sets), the colours are all dull and washed out, and the lighting is haphazard and nonsensical. I know you can’t be too judgmental when it’s an obvious low budget film, but there’s still a lot more that could have been done with what they had. There’s nothing to recommend Covid 21: Lethal Virus in any way: it’s unoriginal, unprofessional, unstructured, and any enjoyment you might get out of it being a “bad” film is scuppered by it being just so incredibly dull. Avoid.
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#584 – Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)
Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)
Film review #584
Director: Peter George
SYNOPSIS: After a devastating earthquake reduces Los Angeles to rubble, the beaches become the battlefield for a number of gangs who want to rule the waves. After a group of neo-Nazis seize the beach, and a young man is killed, his Mother decides to take revenge on the Nazis that murdered him…
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Surf Nazis Must Die is a 1987 post-apocalyptic film. The film’s title might sound completely off the wall and nonsensical, but actually refers to the neo-Nazis that existed around surfer culture in Los Angeles from the 1960s onwards. The film is set in a post-apocalyptic version of L.A. after a huge earthquake reduces the city to ruin…well, probably. We don’t really see the city in ruins to establish the location or context, and there’s also no real indication if just the city is in this post-apocalyptic state of lawlessness, or it is the wider world. Anyway, in this state of chaos, various surfer gangs battle it out for control of the beaches. While the film embraces some more outlandish elements that you would expect from the title, including the various surfer gangs of Nazis, ninjas, and the like, the film on the whole is fairly tame and subsequently, rather dull. There’s barely any other story other than Nazis just terrorising people, and every scene in which something happens is followed by long shots of people surfing, which by the time you return to a scene with dialogue or plot, you can’t really follow what happens from one scene to the next. There’s a story concerning some drug deals, a kid hanging around the Nazis to his Mother’s disapproval, and a Mother taking revenge on the Nazis for the murder of her son, but none of these elements really add up to anything, or come together in any way.
Despite the silly concept, there is an element of the film taking some things seriously: the Nazis radicalising youths, the preaching of their purity yet clearly engaging in deviancy; there’s some effort to write the bad guys as the bad guys , and to show their hypocrisy. Don’t get me wrong: this is not done in an overly impressive or interesting way, but it is there. probably the most memorable character and plot element is “Mama,” a middle-aged woman who is put into a care home after the earthquake, but always manages to sneak out to cause trouble, and her mission of vengeance which becomes the focus of the film when her son is murdered by the Nazis, is at least somewhat interesting. Not only is her straight-up approach to the Nazis being to call them out and hunt them down refreshing (because we don’t really need to have nuance in dealing with Nazis, I thin the film is trying to say), but having a middle-aged black woman as the main character is such a rare occurrence it almost makes the film feel fresh. Again, there’s still not much substance, but the no-nonsense approach the film takes is somewhat fun while it lasts.
Overall, Surf Nazis Must Die fails to live up to its bizarre name: it’s mostly dull viewing with barely any plot, and random footage of surfing that serves no purpose other than to extend the runtime breaks the film up into isolated scenes that serve no overall purpose. There’s some attempt to offer something unique with the “revenge” story arc, and dealing with Nazis in a straightforward way, but other than that, it’s a dull, low-budget flick that offers nothing really exciting or interesting.
